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Author Topic: HOMESTRETCH KNOWS EVERYTHING THERE IS TO KNOW !!  (Read 16017 times)
Homestretch
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« Reply #550 on: September 20, 2012, 12:14:38 AM »

In your other thread a lot of posters here did not come clean and disclose their handles at other sites. Do you know why?
DIRTY LOWLIFE'S SHOULD SHOWER AT LEAST ONCE A WEEK !!!!
COME CLEAN, YOU CAN DO IT !!
SPEND THAT 5 BUCKS ON SOMETHING BESIDES  censor PICKS !
 beer

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Homestretch
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« Reply #551 on: September 20, 2012, 12:17:16 AM »

Jimmy Hoffa?
YOU NEVER KNOW !!!
 Wink
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Sea Biscuit
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« Reply #552 on: September 20, 2012, 12:30:08 AM »

If I have a tiger to my left, a lion to my right, a vicious gorilla in the front and a giant anaconda at my behind, what  should I do?
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Sea Biscuit
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« Reply #553 on: September 20, 2012, 12:40:57 AM »

If Sea Biscuit and Fuzzypants are marooned on a uninhabited island in the middle of an ocean, what will happen?

 laughing guy laughing guy laughing guy
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Homestretch
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« Reply #554 on: September 20, 2012, 12:44:26 AM »

If I have a tiger to my left, a lion to my right, a vicious gorilla in the front and a giant anaconda at my behind, what  should I do?
SAY YOUR PRAYERS MY FRIEND !
AND MAKE IT THE SHORT VERSION !
 RIP RIP
 laughing guy laughing guy
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Sea Biscuit
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« Reply #555 on: September 20, 2012, 12:55:28 AM »

If Sea Biscuit and Fuzzypants are marooned on a uninhabited island in the middle of an ocean, what will happen?

 laughing guy laughing guy laughing guy

Since no answer is forthcoming from Homestretch, I'll let Fuzzy answer this question.
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Homestretch
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« Reply #556 on: September 20, 2012, 12:59:51 AM »

Since no answer is forthcoming from Homestretch, I'll let Fuzzy answer this question.
PROBABLY SOMETHING LIKE THIS:

Two guys were stranded on a deserted island for over 20 years. One day, one finds a bottle and a genie comes out. I will grant each of you only one wish.

The first guys immediately asks to go back home and poof, hes gone.

The second thinks for a minute then says to the genie, You know Im gonna miss him, can you bring him back?

 laughing guy laughing guy laughing guy laughing guy
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« Reply #557 on: September 20, 2012, 05:28:30 AM »

Vegas~~Yonkers1~~Homeboyhanover, are about the only ones that stay with their same name where ever they post~~~

I'm always juice til someone name bands me.
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Sea Biscuit
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« Reply #558 on: September 20, 2012, 05:38:04 AM »

PROBABLY SOMETHING LIKE THIS:

Two guys were stranded on a deserted island for over 20 years. One day, one finds a bottle and a genie comes out. I will grant each of you only one wish.

The first guys immediately asks to go back home and poof, hes gone.

The second thinks for a minute then says to the genie, You know Im gonna miss him, can you bring him back?

 laughing guy laughing guy laughing guy laughing guy

Good one John.



There is no way in hell I would wish for Fuzzy to come back. Can't keep her away from her horses.



My wish would probably be to have a harness track on the island with a wide open window.

« Last Edit: September 20, 2012, 06:04:12 AM by Sea Biscuit » Report to moderator   Logged
Homestretch
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« Reply #559 on: September 20, 2012, 06:58:39 AM »

I'm always juice til someone name bands me.
AND YOUR QUESTION IS ?
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Sea Biscuit
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« Reply #560 on: September 20, 2012, 08:10:16 AM »

AND YOUR QUESTION IS ?

Here I'll help him out with the question.

Which forum would band Charlemagne err I mean Juice next?
« Last Edit: September 20, 2012, 08:16:19 AM by Sea Biscuit » Report to moderator   Logged
Homestretch
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« Reply #561 on: September 20, 2012, 11:01:32 AM »

Here I'll help him out with the question.

Which forum would band Charlemagne err I mean Juice next?
THE EASY ANSWER IS "NONE" !!
ACTUALLY JUICE GOES ON A CRUISE NEXT MONTH, AND NEVER RETURNS !
HERE IS A REPORT FROM THE FUTURE OF EVENTS THAT WILL HAPPEN IN 2013 !!!
 
Stranded on an Island Juice found himself, he knew not how, swept up on the shore of an island.
There was nothing else anywhere to be seen. No person, no supplies, nothing. Juice looked around.
There were some bananas and coconuts, but that was it. Juice was desperate, and forlorn, but decided to make the best of it.
For the next four months Juice ate bananas, drank coconut juice and mostly looked to the sea for a ship to come to his rescue.
One day, as Juice was lying on the beach stroking his beard and looking for a ship, he spotted movement out of the corner of his eye. Could it be true, was it a ship? No, from around the corner of the island came a rowboat. In it was the most gorgeous woman Juice had ever seen - or at least in last 4 months.
She was tall, tanned, and her blonde hair flowed in the sea breeze.
Juice watched as she rowed her boat toward him.
As she arrived at the beach, Juice asked, "Where did you come from, how did you get here"?
She said, "I rowed from the other side of the island.. I landed on this island when my cruise ship sank"
"Amazing," Juice said, "I didn't know anyone else had survived. How many of you are there?"
"It is only me," she said. "Would you like to row over to my place?"
Juice and the women both got into the rowboat and left for her side of island.
The woman easily rowed them around to a wharf that led to the approach to her place.
She tied up the rowboat with a beautifully woven hemp rope.
They walked up a stone walk and around a Palm tree, and there stood an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. "It's not much," she said, "but I call it home. Have a seat. Would you like a drink?"
"No," said Juice, "one more coconut juice and I will puke."
"It won't be coconut juice," the woman replied, "I have a still. How about a Pina Colada?
Trying to hide his continued amazement, Juice accepted, and they sat down on her couch to talk.
"You look great," said the woman, "I think I will go up and slip into something more comfortable."
After a short time, the woman returned wearing fig leaves strategically positioned and smelling faintly of gardenia.
"Tell me," she purred, "we have both been out here for a very long time with no companionship. You know what I mean. Have you been lonely? Is there anything that you really miss?" She moved closer to him.
 "Something that all men and woman need? Something that it would be really nice to have right now?"
"Yes there is, now that you mention it," Juice replied, moving closer to her. "Tell me, do you happen to have an Internet connection? I want to log on to BTW and see if all my friends are still there"

 laughing guy laughing guy laughing guy laughing guy laughing guy

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Yonkers1
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« Reply #562 on: September 20, 2012, 11:11:08 AM »

THE EASY ANSWER IS "NONE" !!
ACTUALLY JUICE GOES ON A CRUISE NEXT MONTH, AND NEVER RETURNS !
HERE IS A REPORT FROM THE FUTURE OF EVENTS THAT WILL HAPPEN IN 2013 !!!
 
Stranded on an Island Juice found himself, he knew not how, swept up on the shore of an island.
There was nothing else anywhere to be seen. No person, no supplies, nothing. Juice looked around.
There were some bananas and coconuts, but that was it. Juice was desperate, and forlorn, but decided to make the best of it.
For the next four months Juice ate bananas, drank coconut juice and mostly looked to the sea for a ship to come to his rescue.
One day, as Juice was lying on the beach stroking his beard and looking for a ship, he spotted movement out of the corner of his eye. Could it be true, was it a ship? No, from around the corner of the island came a rowboat. In it was the most gorgeous woman Juice had ever seen - or at least in last 4 months.
She was tall, tanned, and her blonde hair flowed in the sea breeze.
Juice watched as she rowed her boat toward him.
As she arrived at the beach, Juice asked, "Where did you come from, how did you get here"?
She said, "I rowed from the other side of the island.. I landed on this island when my cruise ship sank"
"Amazing," Juice said, "I didn't know anyone else had survived. How many of you are there?"
"It is only me," she said. "Would you like to row over to my place?"
Juice and the women both got into the rowboat and left for her side of island.
The woman easily rowed them around to a wharf that led to the approach to her place.
She tied up the rowboat with a beautifully woven hemp rope.
They walked up a stone walk and around a Palm tree, and there stood an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. "It's not much," she said, "but I call it home. Have a seat. Would you like a drink?"
"No," said Juice, "one more coconut juice and I will puke."
"It won't be coconut juice," the woman replied, "I have a still. How about a Pina Colada?
Trying to hide his continued amazement, Juice accepted, and they sat down on her couch to talk.
"You look great," said the woman, "I think I will go up and slip into something more comfortable."
After a short time, the woman returned wearing fig leaves strategically positioned and smelling faintly of gardenia.
"Tell me," she purred, "we have both been out here for a very long time with no companionship. You know what I mean. Have you been lonely? Is there anything that you really miss?" She moved closer to him.
 "Something that all men and woman need? Something that it would be really nice to have right now?"
"Yes there is, now that you mention it," Juice replied, moving closer to her. "Tell me, do you happen to have an Internet connection? I want to log on to BTW and see if all my friends are still there"

 laughing guy laughing guy laughing guy laughing guy laughing guy



John, I still respect you, barely, but I still do. However one more of these and you will be banded.

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Homestretch
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« Reply #563 on: September 20, 2012, 11:18:08 AM »

WAS NOT THAT BAD !!
WAS IT ?
 laughing guy
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Homestretch
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« Reply #564 on: September 20, 2012, 12:18:32 PM »

Hint, I will give you the first half of what he said.

"(Second trainers nickname), It is just like racing horses, you **** **** **, *** * **** **** ****!
STILL NEED MORE INFORMATION !
 dunno dunno
« Last Edit: September 20, 2012, 12:28:19 PM by Homestretch » Report to moderator   Logged
Juicejunkies
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« Reply #565 on: September 20, 2012, 12:23:03 PM »

THE EASY ANSWER IS "NONE" !!
ACTUALLY JUICE GOES ON A CRUISE NEXT MONTH, AND NEVER RETURNS !
HERE IS A REPORT FROM THE FUTURE OF EVENTS THAT WILL HAPPEN IN 2013 !!!
 
Stranded on an Island Juice found himself, he knew not how, swept up on the shore of an island.
There was nothing else anywhere to be seen. No person, no supplies, nothing. Juice looked around.
There were some bananas and coconuts, but that was it. Juice was desperate, and forlorn, but decided to make the best of it.
For the next four months Juice ate bananas, drank coconut juice and mostly looked to the sea for a ship to come to his rescue.
One day, as Juice was lying on the beach stroking his beard and looking for a ship, he spotted movement out of the corner of his eye. Could it be true, was it a ship? No, from around the corner of the island came a rowboat. In it was the most gorgeous woman Juice had ever seen - or at least in last 4 months.
She was tall, tanned, and her blonde hair flowed in the sea breeze.
Juice watched as she rowed her boat toward him.
As she arrived at the beach, Juice asked, "Where did you come from, how did you get here"?
She said, "I rowed from the other side of the island.. I landed on this island when my cruise ship sank"
"Amazing," Juice said, "I didn't know anyone else had survived. How many of you are there?"
"It is only me," she said. "Would you like to row over to my place?"
Juice and the women both got into the rowboat and left for her side of island.
The woman easily rowed them around to a wharf that led to the approach to her place.
She tied up the rowboat with a beautifully woven hemp rope.
They walked up a stone walk and around a Palm tree, and there stood an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. "It's not much," she said, "but I call it home. Have a seat. Would you like a drink?"
"No," said Juice, "one more coconut juice and I will puke."
"It won't be coconut juice," the woman replied, "I have a still. How about a Pina Colada?
Trying to hide his continued amazement, Juice accepted, and they sat down on her couch to talk.
"You look great," said the woman, "I think I will go up and slip into something more comfortable."
After a short time, the woman returned wearing fig leaves strategically positioned and smelling faintly of gardenia.
"Tell me," she purred, "we have both been out here for a very long time with no companionship. You know what I mean. Have you been lonely? Is there anything that you really miss?" She moved closer to him.
 "Something that all men and woman need? Something that it would be really nice to have right now?"
"Yes there is, now that you mention it," Juice replied, moving closer to her. "Tell me, do you happen to have an Internet connection? I want to log on to BTW and see if all my friends are still there"

 laughing guy laughing guy laughing guy laughing guy laughing guy



She had a tramp stamp.   "GUG", no clue.   But she loved me.
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Juicejunkies
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« Reply #566 on: September 20, 2012, 12:23:50 PM »

Which east coast beach has the hottest women?
Which has the worst?
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Homestretch
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« Reply #567 on: September 20, 2012, 12:42:46 PM »

Which east coast beach has the hottest women?
Which has the worst?
SANDY HOOK STATE PARK IN NEW JERSEY !!
HOT CHICKS ARE ALWAYS NAKED, AND IT'S LEGAL !!
PROHARNESS WAS SPOTTED THERE TAKING PICTURES, BUT HE WAS EJACULATED FOR FAILING TO HAVE A BEACH PASS AND LACK OF PRODUCT !!

 laughing guy laughing guy

THERE ARE NO BAD BEACHES, BUT LOTS OF HOT B*T*HES ON THE BEACHES !

 laughing guy laughing guy
« Last Edit: September 20, 2012, 12:53:32 PM by Homestretch » Report to moderator   Logged
looking in
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« Reply #568 on: September 20, 2012, 11:28:55 PM »

Homestretch, my learned friend,
Think back a few decades.
A lowly second trainer has wined and dined this young lady all night.
His boss, a soon to be "Hall Of Famer" walks in at closing time.
Bossman is soon headed out the door with the now willing young lady.
As he goes out the door, what does bossman looking over his shoulder say to the poor and now lonely second trainer?

Bossman walked out with the young lady and said to one of my better friends,
"It is just like racing horses.
You warm them up,
and I will race them".
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I am just an old "Hoss" trainer, that has been raced hard and put away wet. 
As my Friend from Maine(Ora Stratton) says "There are horse trainers, and then there are real "Hoss" trainers.
Homestretch
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« Reply #569 on: September 20, 2012, 11:32:56 PM »

Bossman walked out with the young lady and said to one of my better friends,
"It is just like racing horses.
You warm them up,
and I will race them".
HOMESTRETCH KNEW THAT !!!
 BSmeter BSmeter BSmeter
 laughing guy laughing guy laughing guy
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Vegas
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« Reply #570 on: September 20, 2012, 11:51:50 PM »

Customer:
              May I have a 3 pack of Condoms please~

Clerk:
        Yes Sir, would you like a bag?

Customer:
              No, she don't look that bad~~
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I trust no one, not even myself~~
Homestretch
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« Reply #571 on: September 21, 2012, 09:07:21 AM »

Customer:
              May I have a 3 pack of Condoms please~

Clerk:
        Yes Sir, would you like a bag?

Customer:
              No, she don't look that bad~~
AND THE QUESTION IS: WHO IS SHE ?
HOMESTRETCH ACTUALLY HAS THE ANSWER !!
HOWEVER I AM UNABLE TO REVEAL HER NAME.
WHAT HAPPENS WITH VEGAS, STAYS WITH VEGAS !!
 laughing guy laughing guy laughing guy laughing guy
« Last Edit: September 21, 2012, 09:10:57 AM by Homestretch » Report to moderator   Logged
Homestretch
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« Reply #572 on: February 21, 2013, 12:11:08 PM »

OK,
Back by request,
I will answer any and all questions !
Fire away !!
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honest & balanced terry
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« Reply #573 on: February 21, 2013, 12:14:55 PM »

OK,
Back by request,
I will answer any and all questions !
Fire away !!

What horse will win the 9th at Gulfstream today?
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"There are no $7500 maiden claimers, state-bred or otherwise, at Arlington."
Homestretch
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« Reply #574 on: February 21, 2013, 12:26:09 PM »

What horse will win the 9th at Gulfstream today?
That question reminds me of the owner who took his racehorse to the vet.
"Will I be able to race this horse again ?" He asks !!
The vet replies: "Of course you will, and you'll probably win"

To answer your question:
Don't bet the 3 horse, he will go off at 25-1 !!
The only problem is that all the other horses left the gate at 12:30 !!
 Grin
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