Chicago Barn to Wire BRIS
Home | News | Bloggers | Forums | Resources | Links | Marketplace | Gallery | Contact Us | Search


October 24, 2014, 11:13:44 AM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
News: If you don't remember your password, email me.

New  registration procedures -- Some ISPs have been bouncing the verification emails.  Please email me to be activated or if you have any problems.  Click Contact Us above.
 
   Home   Help Search Login Register  
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: emp's HAIKU Corner  (Read 1771 times)
TC
Hero Member
*****
Posts: 4183




Ignore
« on: November 02, 2005, 10:40:33 AM »

Scott left us this fall
he screamed each time at the blimp
I'm so glad he's gone

leaves fall, Tony's left
what happens to the puppets
can they win a race

winter is nearing
the horsemen say they will strike
Marc Laino says NO

over the many years
bad policies were written
now we lost a friend

Joe's a legal mind
worked with Parisi for years
someday will buy lunch

Dan Nance in Vegas
more info than IBM
goofs do not like him

FVT is dead
where's the IRB on this
swept under the rug

PM COUNCELLOR
busts on RTP at will
told to watch his step

Windy City Pace
held after a six claimer
Doc is not too bright

going to the track
Am-Nats on this Saturday
does anyone care

Devil's in Dover
coming back on this Friday
RTP is bummed

Superman is filth
his song parodies are bad
try to do better

Dan Nance always says
I'll hit you with a brick and
learn the game laddie

Tom is missing now
where are his words of wisdom
please just ask burton

emp loves Asian chicks
he has visited Japan
Polaroids don't lie

IRB corrupt
they are the Johnston's lackeys
screwed Hawthorne quite well

Joe and the Bald Snake
really didn't get along
how many eight holes

Connie was accused
now Tom is in a lawsuit
doesn't feel too good

Rod Allums Jr.
will get his first win this week
good driver who tries

the Big M opens
who will bet on Balmoral
or even Maywood

at Barn to Wire
it's the number one forum
on the internet

Domo ariagato, Mr. emp Roboto
TC
« Last Edit: November 02, 2005, 10:43:16 AM by TC » Report to moderator   Logged
emp
Guest

« Reply #1 on: November 02, 2005, 01:58:54 PM »

ABC's of harness racing..........

A - apples in the feed tub
B - betting through Costa Rica
C - coritzone shots
D - detention barn woes
E - empathy for the horsemen
F - fillys who turn into mares
G - "g" money baby, go cash that signer
H - horseman, horsemen, horsewoman, horsepeople
I - IRB (interesting and relevant bul$%^&)
J - jugs of DMSO
K - Keterolac injections
L - live racing, live racing, live racing
M - mares, mares and more mares
N - neverending times and tribulations in Illinois racing
O - only on the internet
P - please stop with bashing and talk harness racing
Q - *** reign this forum
R - robbing the public blind
S - savers for you stupid bets
T - time trials down in Springfield
U - understanding collusion and corruption 101
V - ventilation in the paddock at Maywood
W - wondering why i'm posting these comments
X - marking the spot with the feds
Y - you only live once
Z - zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Report to moderator   Logged
TC
Hero Member
*****
Posts: 4183




Ignore
« Reply #2 on: November 02, 2005, 02:09:31 PM »

Ah the Meadowlands
P Diddy and daddy Mike
piles of French Filth   (suggested by SP in LV - LOL)

Edward William Rose
distances himself from Tom
another smart move

slots are not too fun
they ruin harness racing
and kill the players

Dan and Scotty Nance
will soon reclaim their title
as the "Claiming Kings"

MR. Richard Breth
tell us all how it feels
to be Tom's puppet

Tell us Johnny J
How it felt on that ringer
did you make some cash

Uncle Phil Langley
USTA President
now spell president

Mike And Kenny Kiehn
only ones with any brains
in Gestapoland

Phyliss Diller Propes
noted as an attorney
Gestapo puppet

Thomas Carey three
you should sue the IRB
for every penny

Moondog is gone now
hope you rest well in heaven
take care little man

Tony and Monique
why not just say Gerry H
partners once again

TC fat ***
hasn't picked a winner yet
ten cent super scrounge

INDY Downs is done
they are facing a scandal
who's in trouble now

RTP is right
PM COUNCELLOR is ***
don't bend over Phil

emp and Tom and Ed
had a major falling out
emp fears for his life

To Joe Dakuras
Good Luck on your algebra
can't add "X +"Y"


This ends the early afternoon session of emp's Haiku Corner.  It was the braintrust of those that say this forum is too lowbrow for them.  Please enjoy the high-class poetry entertainment at no cost to the consumer.  For those many p.m.s sent regarding lyrics in the "Monster Mash" thread, perhaps a reprise of said lyrics will come as soon as I dismount my "steed" and hit myself over the head with a potato rake, so I can emerge from Haiku mode and back into lyricist mode.  Thank you.  TC


« Last Edit: November 02, 2005, 03:10:49 PM by TC » Report to moderator   Logged
TC
Hero Member
*****
Posts: 4183




Ignore
« Reply #3 on: November 02, 2005, 02:56:57 PM »

We interrupt emp's Haiku Corner for some more alphabet logic.  This just came in from the soon-to-be-closed farm :

A as in Aminocaproic Acid
B as in baking soda
C as in clidinium
D as in Diclofenac
E as in EPO
F as in Flunixin
G as in Guaifenisin
H as in hypodermics
I as in Indomethacin
J as in jumper cables
K as in Kalanchoe
L as in Lidocain
M as in Morphine
N as in Norpseudophedrine
O as in Oxymophone
P as in pre-race
Q as in quinine
R as in Ractopamine
S as in Snail venom
T as in Tetramisole
U as in Uncaria
V as in Viagra
W as in "Western Formula"
X as in doctored X-ray
Y as in Yellow Dot
Z as in Ziconotide

..now back to your regularly scheduled programming.  TC

Report to moderator   Logged
njhorseman
Guest

« Reply #4 on: November 02, 2005, 03:18:59 PM »

We interrupt emp's Haiku Corner for some more alphabet logic.  This just came in from the soon-to-be-closed farm :

A as in Aminocaproic Acid
B as in baking soda
C as in clidinium
D as in Diclofenac
E as in EPO
F as in Flunixin
G as in Guaifenisin
H as in hypodermics
I as in Indomethacin
J as in jumper cables
K as in Kalanchoe
L as in Lidocain
M as in Morphine
N as in Norpseudophedrine
O as in Oxymophone
P as in pre-race
Q as in quinine
R as in Ractopamine
S as in Snail venom
T as in Tetramisole
U as in Uncaria
V as in Viagra
W as in "Western Formula"
X as in doctored X-ray
Y as in Yellow Dot
Z as in Ziconotide

..now back to your regularly scheduled programming.  TC





TC:
I take back every unkind word I ever said about you.  Grin
Report to moderator   Logged
edwardwilliam
Annnnnnnnnd they're off!
Hero Member
*****
Posts: 6252

Rebate shops are not the devil.


WWW

Ignore
« Reply #5 on: November 02, 2005, 03:23:44 PM »

Am I correct in guessing that TC is a fan of the Tuesday Morning Quarterback?

Best,
EW
Report to moderator   Logged

Stick to Fantasyland pal, because you'll NEVER make it in the real world - TC
TC
Hero Member
*****
Posts: 4183




Ignore
« Reply #6 on: November 02, 2005, 03:25:57 PM »

Huh? You've got me...I'm lost ...please explain.  TC
Report to moderator   Logged
edwardwilliam
Annnnnnnnnd they're off!
Hero Member
*****
Posts: 6252

Rebate shops are not the devil.


WWW

Ignore
« Reply #7 on: November 02, 2005, 03:29:21 PM »

Huh? You've got me...I'm lost ...please explain.  TC


I assumed went with the haikus after seeing them here: http://www.nfl.com/news/story/9016497 -- if you are an intelligent fan of football, this is an EXCELLENT column.  It comes out every Tuesday morning.

Best,
EW
Report to moderator   Logged

Stick to Fantasyland pal, because you'll NEVER make it in the real world - TC
TC
Hero Member
*****
Posts: 4183




Ignore
« Reply #8 on: November 02, 2005, 03:34:36 PM »

..honestly, no.  Sometimes goof minds think alike.  Spit happens.  I just was responding to comments about the forum being too lowbrow, so i thought I'd move this claimer of a b.b. up a notch with some fancified poetry.  LOL TC
Report to moderator   Logged
SUPERMAN
Hero Member
*****
Posts: 1120




Ignore
« Reply #9 on: November 02, 2005, 04:14:18 PM »

        TC, You should get ELECTROCUTED by Tony M's jog cart for this insane stuiped post. Please take your medication and a nap before posting  Grin
Report to moderator   Logged
TC
Hero Member
*****
Posts: 4183




Ignore
« Reply #10 on: November 02, 2005, 04:39:59 PM »

        TC, You should get ELECTROCUTED by Tony M's jog cart for this insane stuiped post. Please take your medication and a nap before posting  Grin
Super, what are you, agent for Dr. Beliga or Frankenstein ?  I forget these days.  If you could read, you'd see I have plenty of medicine.  I was the winning bidder to the "tack box of Gold" on E-bay for $12.99 and a bag of Frito's.  The boxes, vials, and utensils were even alphabetized so my post was really simple.  If you don't like it, go pick peanuts out of Devil's Cups' droppings.  TC
Report to moderator   Logged
edwardwilliam
Annnnnnnnnd they're off!
Hero Member
*****
Posts: 6252

Rebate shops are not the devil.


WWW

Ignore
« Reply #11 on: November 03, 2005, 06:33:19 AM »

Tony Morgan leaves
dominates Dover first day
three wins are easy
Report to moderator   Logged

Stick to Fantasyland pal, because you'll NEVER make it in the real world - TC
TC
Hero Member
*****
Posts: 4183




Ignore
« Reply #12 on: November 03, 2005, 08:10:47 AM »

Tony Morgan leaves
dominates Dover first day
three wins are easy
he is still a crook
wait 'til the honeymoon's up
can you say hang jobs

TC
Report to moderator   Logged
Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.20 | SMF © 2013, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!
Page created in 0.078 seconds with 16 queries.

Home
Upcoming events
Arlington Million
Horse slaughter in IL
Racing TV schedule
News Updates
Legislation

Galloping Out

Previous stories

Arlington
Balmoral
Hawthorne
Maywood
Chicago Sun-Times
Chicago Tribune
Blood-Horse
Daily Racing Form
Thoroughbred Times
Harness Link
Illinois Racing Board

 

2014

Arlington Million
Triple Crown
Illinois Derby

2013

Breeders' Cup
Hawthorne Gold Cup
Arlington Million
Triple Crown
Illinois Derby

2012

Breeders' Cup
Hawthorne Gold Cup
Arlington Million
Triple Crown
Illinois Derby

More ebay items

 

Home | News Updates | Bloggers | Forums | Search
Resources | Links | Marketplace | Gallery | Advertising | Contact Us

Copyright © 2000-2014 Chicago Barn to Wire. All rights reserved.
Privacy policy