Dan's walks into establishment and after having TC and Kevin help him fill out the application finally gets to have his interview.
Manager: Thank you Dan for coming in, how did you hear about us ?
Dan: I heard it from a web site
http://www.lasvegaspride.org/Manager: According to your resume, it says hear that you list your previous work at the Red Rock Casino, that's great were you a manager?
Dan: No No No. I would sit there in the late afternoons and wager on Chicago harness races.
Manager: Harness races, what exactly is that ?
Dan: It's horse racing, not like the Kentucky Derby kind, the ones that pull the buggy's behind.
Manager: Dan, do you have any actual work experience ?
Dan: Of course, during the 80's and 90's I made up 98% of Team ***. Here is a list of my statistics. Now I actually had much better stats in the 80's but the Unites States Trotting Association did not start keeping them until 1990.
[Dan hands the manager his stats]
1999 2 0 0 0 $ 1,231 0.000 4 Sum Ext Cht
1998 115 15 16 16 $ 158,831 0.254 7 Sum Ext Cht
1997 106 7 15 8 $ 49,453 0.170 4 Sum Ext Cht
1996 76 4 7 13 $ 31,039 0.161 3 Sum Ext Cht
1995 61 6 3 7 $ 22,415 0.164 4 Sum Ext Cht
1994 15 0 0 1 $ 508 0.022 Sum Ext Cht
1993 97 5 9 13 $ 38,026 0.148 2 Sum Ext Cht
1992 53 4 7 3 $ 30,581 0.168 4 Sum Ext Cht
1991 3 0 0 0 $ 580 0.000 N/A N/A N/A
Manager: Well Dan, these really aren't that great for the buggy races, anything else you can show me about your working career.
Dan: Of course, here are lots of win photo's. Here's one of Cool Cookie winning in 1984, and here's one of Doctor Hawk in 1985, and here's one .......
Manager: O O okay Dan that should be enough. You really didn't have to bring all those pictures with you.
Dan: Really, it's no problem, I carry them with me everywhere in my man purse.
Manager: Well Dan, I think we may be able to find a place for you. Are you able to get a drug test today.
Dan: For me ?
Manager: Wellllll, who else would it be for ?
Dan: I'm sorry, when I hear drug tests, I have flashbacks from the 80's when I had a horse test positive for M99.
Manager: M99 ?
Dan: well that's just a term, the actual drug was called etorphine. You know they say it's a thousand times more powerful than morphine.
Manager: ummmmm okay, well go down to the wellness center and they will administer the drug test
Dan: Thank you Thank you Thank you. This means so much to me, now maybe my wife will stop nagging me.
Manager: Congratulations Dan and welcome to Team Burger King, Home of the Whopper !
Dan: [ giggles ]
Manager: I'm sorry Dan, is there something funny ?
Dan: You said Whopper ! hehehehe
[show fades to black]
