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Author Topic: Episode #2; Dan applies for a job  (Read 2482 times)
18g needle
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« on: February 16, 2008, 10:10:53 AM »

Dan's walks into establishment and after having TC and Kevin help him fill out the application finally gets to have his interview.


Manager: Thank you Dan for coming in, how did you hear about us ?

Dan: I heard it from a web site
http://www.lasvegaspride.org/

Manager: According to your resume, it says hear that you list your previous work at the Red Rock Casino, that's great were you a manager?

Dan: No No No. I would sit there in the late afternoons and wager on Chicago harness races.

Manager: Harness races, what exactly is that ?

Dan: It's horse racing, not like the Kentucky Derby kind, the ones that pull the buggy's behind.

Manager: Dan, do you have any actual work experience ?

Dan: Of course, during the 80's and 90's I made up 98% of Team Nance.  Here is a list of my statistics. Now I actually had much better stats in the 80's but the Unites States Trotting Association did not start keeping them until 1990.
[Dan hands the manager his stats]

1999       2  0  0  0       $ 1,231          0.000  4 Sum   Ext   Cht   
 1998    115  15  16  16  $ 158,831       0.254  7 Sum   Ext   Cht   
 1997    106  7  15  8  $ 49,453            0.170  4 Sum   Ext   Cht   
 1996      76  4  7  13  $ 31,039           0.161  3 Sum   Ext   Cht   
 1995      61  6  3  7  $ 22,415             0.164  4 Sum   Ext   Cht   
 1994      15  0  0  1  $ 508                 0.022   Sum   Ext   Cht   
 1993      97  5  9  13  $ 38,026           0.148  2 Sum   Ext   Cht   
 1992      53  4  7  3  $ 30,581             0.168  4 Sum   Ext   Cht   
 1991        3  0  0  0  $ 580                   0.000   N/A N/A N/A

Manager: Well Dan, these really aren't that great for the buggy races, anything else you can show me about your working career.

Dan: Of course, here are lots of win photo's. Here's one of Cool Cookie winning in 1984, and here's one of Doctor Hawk in 1985, and here's one .......

Manager: O O okay Dan that should be enough. You really didn't have to bring all those pictures with you.

Dan: Really, it's no problem, I carry them with me everywhere in my man purse.

Manager: Well Dan, I think we may be able to find a place for you. Are you able to get a drug test today.

Dan: For me ?

Manager: Wellllll, who else would it be for ?

Dan: I'm sorry, when I hear drug tests, I have flashbacks from the 80's when I had a horse test positive for M99.

Manager: M99 ?

Dan: well that's just a term, the actual drug was called etorphine. You know they say it's a thousand times more powerful than morphine.

Manager: ummmmm okay, well go down to the wellness center and they will administer the drug test

Dan: Thank you Thank you Thank you. This means so much to me, now maybe my wife will stop nagging me.

Manager: Congratulations Dan and welcome to Team Burger King, Home of the Whopper !

Dan: [ giggles ]

Manager: I'm sorry Dan, is there something funny ?

Dan: You said Whopper ! hehehehe

[show fades to black]


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Mclock
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« Reply #1 on: February 16, 2008, 10:15:57 AM »



LMFAO....This should be nominated as post of the century  nyah thumbs up screw rat

                                                    trotter
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'Tis better to be silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.
rock
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« Reply #2 on: February 16, 2008, 11:14:38 AM »

I almost dropped my laptop I was laughing so hard.  beer thumbs up thumbs up thumbs up
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Gb
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« Reply #3 on: February 16, 2008, 12:05:08 PM »

 thumbs up thumbs up beer
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tonymfan
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« Reply #4 on: February 16, 2008, 12:08:15 PM »


but I am two time Horse Pokester of the Week!
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Balmoral Buddy
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« Reply #5 on: February 16, 2008, 01:45:51 PM »

I have a suggestion-- why not post these on their website so ours isn't continuously cluttered up with this junk. You act like 10 year olds.
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noc
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« Reply #6 on: February 16, 2008, 04:58:24 PM »

I have a suggestion-- why not post these on their website so ours isn't continuously cluttered up with this junk. You act like 10 year olds.
Because most of us are banned, have one or more trolls using our name our just do not want to post on such a despicable site...
take your choice....Hopefully, that has answered your question
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INTERESTED OBSERVER
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« Reply #7 on: February 16, 2008, 09:27:42 PM »

18G needle... GREAT POST!!  Grin   thumbs up
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noc
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« Reply #8 on: February 16, 2008, 09:55:16 PM »

He could be the King.....with tights and a crown on his head.....For only A King wears the Crown...The King of Clowns must be honored and revered.....An idiot and moron is he .....the Poster of the decade is the Queen of Nancey.
Residing in Summerlin with Gay Blade Kevin chasing the mail daily... maroon maroon maroon maroon maroon maroon nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah
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rock
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« Reply #9 on: February 16, 2008, 10:06:13 PM »

Hey noc, I read where Team Nance tried to stiff Howard Taylor on a horse they bought from him. Howard had to hold up the transfer until the deadbeats paid up. Would Team Nance do something so underhanded?
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Gb
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« Reply #10 on: February 16, 2008, 10:56:09 PM »

this should go down as the thread of the year!!!! LOL  thumbs up
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bowserkat
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« Reply #11 on: February 17, 2008, 02:28:25 AM »

Hold on everyone, I hear Burger King wants to sue for defamation of character for suggesting they would hire such a lowlife.  Also, they want a cease and desist order against the King of Vegas porn to get him to stop wearing that paper crown he got in his last kiddy meal.
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18g needle
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« Reply #12 on: January 20, 2009, 10:31:14 AM »

I see now where the job at Burger King just didn't quite work out. He is trying his hand at a new venture that requires less standing. His wife bought his unemployed ass a pet monkey to play with. Now Bubbles spits up on a Meadowlands program and the 50% not covered in phlegm are called Nancy's picks. If Bubbles sticks his finger in his ass and touches the program, that is called a top Rated Pick.

C'mon Dan, give Bubbles some of the credit, can he get a Team Nance ball cap out of the back of the closet to wear around to show his pride?

 

 In the 80's I was called "Chicago's Claiming King" because of my training abilities, now that I'm retired from training I want to go down as one of the best harness handicappers that ever lived.

 


If in the 80's you were known as the claiming king, what were the 90's called ? In the next 10 years, you only hit your weight once, 1998 !

1999       2  0  0  0       $ 1,231          0.000  4 Sum   Ext   Cht   
 1998    115  15  16  16  $ 158,831       0.254  7 Sum   Ext   Cht   
 1997    106  7  15  8  $ 49,453            0.170  4 Sum   Ext   Cht   
 1996      76  4  7  13  $ 31,039           0.161  3 Sum   Ext   Cht   
 1995      61  6  3  7  $ 22,415             0.164  4 Sum   Ext   Cht   
 1994      15  0  0  1  $ 508                 0.022   Sum   Ext   Cht   
 1993      97  5  9  13  $ 38,026           0.148  2 Sum   Ext   Cht   
 1992      53  4  7  3  $ 30,581             0.168  4 Sum   Ext   Cht   
 1991        3  0  0  0  $ 580                   0.000   N/A N/A N/A

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M1
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« Reply #13 on: January 20, 2009, 10:37:23 AM »

LMFAO!!!!!  beer
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