I'm a little bored so I'm going to share my favorite Army story and hope you get a laugh .
The last 6 months of my tour of duty I finally got sent to a real safe place in vietnam normally . The army transferred about 10 of us to a new company an said you guys are going to be bread bakers . They put me in charge of the ovens which wasn't that easy cause your burn the hell out of your hands taking the bread out until you get the knack on how to do it right . Well as time went on guys were going home and new guys were assigned to the bakery . We got this one guy named Kuntz and he was a little guy and seemed like he had 2 left feet ! They put him n the mixer , but the bags of flour were to heavy for him to put in the mixer and the flour was all over the place . They then decided to put him on the divider that cuts the dough into 6 loafs and then you put it in a cabinet for the bread to rise ! He could'nt do that either because the bread would come out fast and you had to put it in a tray . He was to slow ! Finally they said he's all yours Phil ! I told the guy when the bread is done alls you have to do is crank the oven and I'll throw it on the rollers ! This process takes a little strength to get the first trays out of the oven and you need a rhythm to do it properly . He was to weak to do that cause he couldn't get the first loafs out and when he did the back trays would be just starting to burn ! He was totally useless ! I told everybody we will just use him for clean up and we can all leave and let him do the machine cleaning . I took him where the oil was to use on the machine the divider that cuts the bread and showed him you just oil it down and its ready for tomorrow and everything seemed fine we finally had a nice job he could handle . The next day we made bread that we sent all over Vietnam by the way we were the only bakery . After 12 hours we were done for the day and we were leaving when a friend of mine grab a hunk of the bread we just made and started to eat it , he then spit the bread out and said taste this stuff whats wrong with the bread ? I grab a hunk and did the same I said it taste like soap and then it dawned on me KUNTZ . He was starting to clean up and I grabbed him and said where is the oil you used ? He showed me the container it was in and there it was in big bold letters LIQUID SOAP ! I yelled at him like a dog ! Now what were we going to do with thousands of loafs of bread with a soap taste ? Well we decided too let it go ! Like I said the bread goes everywhere .Later that evening at the mess hall we wondered if our mess hall was going to use the soap bread at the evening meal ? We sat and watched guys starting to bite into the bread and we could see the look on there face when they bit into that bread like what the hell is this and some started spitting it out , well we couldn't help but laugh as each soldier took a bite ! We never got in any trouble I guess they thought we were shitty bakers or something ! I got guard duty and some guy who I didn't know was in the bunker with me and asked how much time do you have left , I told him going home in 3 weeks , He said that he just got in country ! He asked what job I had and I told him that I work in the bakery and he said he really liked the bread , but when he first got here he said the bread tasted like you were biting into a bar of SOAP ! I laughed and told him the story .
So if any of you old posters like me were there in April of 1968 !
You can blame PFC KUNTZ for the soap bread !
You really had to be there to appreciate the story and imagine a true glutz of a person .
RTP
